The Atomic Habits Identity Exercise. Applying the Atomic Habits

As a business owner and entrepreneur, I regularly work with folks striving to achieve beyond their historical capability and do something incredible for themselves. A fire is in their belly, and they are looking for a roadmap to success. The first step is to create an Atomic Habits Identity.

The men and women I connect with seek the one mighty and effective change they can make to break free. 

Call this what you will:

• 10x thinking 
• Achieving ‘escape velocity’ (a lot of men imagine they were going to be astronauts as kids)
• A purpose-driven life
• Disciplined entrepreneurship

They are on their personal hero’s journey to become their best self. 

While building The Appreciation Company since 2021, I had to transform myself into a self-driven, courageous, and committed individual capable of operating independently of the corporate structures surrounding me in my prior roles at AT&T, Amazon, and other companies. 

Over the past few years, I’ve amassed a whole toolkit of resources, books, coaching, and techniques to build a company. This includes:

1. The technology platform that is The Appreciation Company service
2. I’ve built and run a website
3. I blog around 2x a week
4. I dabble in social media posts
5. I make sales calls and send outbound emails
6. I’m a keynote speaker
7. I manage my finances

…and a whole LOT more. 

Those items are crucial yet missing a foundational piece of who I am and what I’ve become. 

I’d suggest that I am a psychologically and emotionally different adult today than I was just two years ago. That new mindset is the underpinning that allows me to everyday get out of bed every day and do the work. 

The critical question is, how did I form that mindset? 

I had to change my Atomic Habits Identity. 

A critical book on my journey was Atomic Habits by James Clear. I think this is the #1 best-selling non-fiction book of the century (I’m not kidding, it has sold 15 million copies). 

But James left me wanting. (Sorry, James). He told me the ‘what’, but not the how. 

So, I created the “How” myself, and I’m sharing this with you below. 

I came up with and applied to myself this Atomic Habits Identity Exercise. 

To get in the right mindset, you have to change your identity. 

Straight from the book: “There are three layers of behavior change: a change in your outcomes, a change in your processes, or a change in your identity.”

Identity has been shown to have the most fundamental transformation effects. Start with identity, and all else will follow. – James Clear, Atomic Habits.

But the book never tells you HOW to change your Atomic Habits identity. So, I created my Atomic Habits Identity Exercise to do just that. 

Today, I am an entrepreneur, an athlete, a father, a husband, and a man connected to the community. 

That’s what I get up and do every day. My Atomic Habits Identity breaks down as follows: 

• An entrepreneur hustles daily, is resilient, has a growth mindset, is determined, and makes good financial decisions for sustainable growth. 
• An athlete makes healthy food, sleep, and exercise choices. 
• A father is engaged deeply with his children. He is interruptable, patient, kind, and empathetic, creating an environment where children can thrive and become true, whole selves. He provides. He communicates. He explains. 
• A husband is loving, supportive, does more than his fair share, anticipates, listens, and communicates. 
• A man connected to the community is engaged, giving, is ‘heads-up’ aware, and listens outside the home. 

Activities, behaviors, and thoughts outside of my identity are what Darren Hardy calls “The Devil’s Vortex. 

This includes social media, news media (note, news is a type of media to me), streaming services – anything that distracts and degrades my identity. 

My identity defines my process and my outcomes. It is my core, and everything builds from there. 

This is MUCH EASIER than focusing on outcomes while embodying an identity that is working against me. 

Are you ready to get started crafting your new Atomic Habits identity? 

For your Atomic Habits Identity Exercise, you will work through identifying:

1. The identity you currently have, 
2. The identity you want to avoid becoming, and 
3. The identity you seek to become. 

Atomic Habits Identity Instructions Part I:

For this exercise, take as much time as you’d like. You’ll need a black, green and red pen. 

Red: I am statements you never want to be identified as or associated with. 

Black (Circle): Circle I am statements that I currently identify as today.

Black (Strike Through): Strike through the statement if you are the opposite of the I am statement as written

Green: I am statements you seek to identify with after a transformation.

Circle or strike as many I am statements as you’d like in each color. It is okay to circle/strike the same statement in two or three colors. There is space at the bottom to write your own. 

Before you get started on the I am statements, take a few minutes to journal on the lines below how you feel right now about this exercise. Focus on your emotions. Do you feel excited, fearful, hopeful, or dread? Describe your feelings and explain why you feel the way you do. 

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Finally, to conclude this part of this Identity Exercise, take a few minutes on the lines below to journal how you ‘feel’ now that you have identified the I am statements you don’t want to be identified as or associated with, I am statements that you currently identify with, and those you seek as your identity. Did anything surprise you? Were there items here that you were glad to circle or felt shame or unhappy to circle? Do you feel you have a better sense of your current identity and the identity you seek after a transformation? Write about your feelings and explain the why behind those feelings. 

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Now, you will work to narrow down your identity statements to get at the core of who you are and the identity you seek to become. 

This is where the magic happens.

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Atomic Habits Identity Instructions Part II:

Step 1: Refinement: We will gather and group your I am statements. 

List all of the I am statements that you circled in Red List, all of the ones circled in Black, and re-write the ones with a back strike-through. Finally, please list all of the I am statements in Green. It doesn’t matter how many you have in each column. 

Journal your feelings: 

Look at the columns of I am statements. How do you feel about those Red, Black, and Green statements? Do you like what you see? Do you dislike what you see? Why? 

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Step 2 – Focus:

From the list of statements above, pick your top 5 of each and list them below. The criteria for selection are the ones that most define what you seek to avoid, are today, and seek to be. It may be difficult to narrow down the choices. That’s the point. 

Step 3 – Sacrifice:

From the list of statements above, pick your essential 3 of each and list them below. In your essence, who are you not, who are you today, and who are you seeking to become? 

Exercise – Putting it into the world: Here is where it gets real! You are going to call 5 to 6 people and speak to them about your Red, Black, and Green I am statements. How you feel about the experience and their reaction is essential. Please take notes during the discussion and summarize those experiences below. 

You should speak to a sibling, your partner (spouse), a parent (or both), your children, and a close friend or two. 

How did you feel setting up the discussion and introducing the topic? What it easy? Was this the purpose of the call, or did you ‘feather it in’ to an existing discussion? Does the person feel that your I am statements are congruent with their understanding of you? What surprised you? What did you like hearing? What did you not like hearing? 

Person 1 (Name):
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Person 2 (Name):
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Person 3 (Name):
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Person 4 (Name):
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Person 5 (Name):
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Person 6 (Name):
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And there you have it. The Atomic Habits Identity Exercise. I hope you’ve found it helpful.
Please let me know if you have any questions, want to, or do implement this exercise in your coaching practice.